What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

What is your craziest college sex story?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Why do I keep dreaming of my mom, who recently passed away from cancer, still being sick and in pain?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

With so much evidence supporting the flat Earth theory, why aren't more resources dedicated to studying it?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

I’m 17 and looking for a girl. What do I do?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

How can one learn to talk frankly?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

What are some of your shocking stories?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

What are some other ways to say "you're welcome" in French besides "de rien"?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

TEXT:

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

What is your opinion? I am 150-152 and I feel short. I’m 15 years old. I feel like this makes me look like a baby and ugly on most clothes.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Is it okay if I sleep with my brother without my husband knowing?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Make Nazis afraid again!

What should I do to get over a relationship?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Anthony says 1st HR made better by Red Sox win - ESPN

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.